Do you know a baby with a fever?

Okay, the title isn't meant to be literal, but I wonder where's the baby with the fever because I can't, shall not, will not, be getting baby fever.  I mean, it's just not time to be thinking about babies, well I can think about them, but I shouldn't be thinking about them, in my belly, on my hip, in my backseat.  Could it be that not only is my very best friend preggers, but I can probably name twenty women that I personally know who are preggers or who just had a baby.  There must be something in the air, no, something in the water, no, I know what it is, there is something "in the facebook."  If I wasn't on facebook, I would not know so many women who were pregnant and therefore, I would not be getting baby fever, I mean, I would not know a baby with a fever.

A friend of mine and I were just talking about how we are of a particular age and we do not have kids.  We began to justify it by talking about all the women we went to school with that do not have children yet, we could only name about five women, but hey that was enough.  We then began talking about her aunt who didn't have her first kid until she was 38 and then she managed to have a second within nine months.  So needless to say, at this point we were feeling pretty good about ourselves. We ignored the subtle hints that our eggs were trying to tell us by even having this conversation.  She laughed when I told her that my mind starts spinning when I think that I will be fifty when my child goes to college, counting the half a year it may take to get pregnant and the other nine months that it will take to cook the baby.  Then it's like I couldn't stop the thoughts, fifty when they are in college, sixty, if they wait until thirty+ to have kids like me, and we can cancel the thought of me ever being able to meet my great grandkids.  That had us almost in tears, she mentioned that she was babysitting for the night and she was sure by morning that the fever, I mean feeling would be gone.  By the end of the conversation we went from wanting to have kids to feeling great about being career minded women who put accomplishments, family and marriage first.  We toasted through the phone to the FEVER, for it was nothing more than a word.

But in the event that you have an actual fever, here are some facts that should be of assistance...


FEVER CATEGORIES:


99.0-99.5 RANGE: SLIGHT - Continue normal activities with caution. 
(Mrs. Draine, we would advise that if you plan on having kids, you should start working on it now)

99.6-101.9 RANGE: MILD - take little action, stay at home, sleep and rest.

(Mrs. Draine, because you are over 30, you might want to be a little cautious when doing certain activities)

102.0-102.9 RANGE: MODERATE- drink lots of fluids (at room temp of 72), sleep and rest, don't use fever reducers yet.  (Mrs. Draine, sleep and rest will be your best friend, stay off your feel, elevate them and stay hydrated)

103.0-104.9 RANGE: SEVERE - get to a doctor, use fever reducers sparingly (keep temp between 100-102 degrees to fight off your illness), get lots and lots of rest, eat lots of food to ensure the digestive system is still functioning normally! (Mrs. Draine, because you are over 30, we may need to think about some alternatives)

105.0-106.6 RANGE: DANGER- call 911, get immediate medical attention. 
(Mrs. Draine, what have you been doing for the last ten years?)

106.7+: LIFE-THREATENING- death or coma is possible, dial 911, and get medical attention right away. Hyperpyrexia causes fevers this high.
(Mrs. Draine, having a child at this age has serious risks associated)

So to the baby with the fever, the plural noun, (2) A state of nervous excitement or agitation, take a deep breathe and concentrate on something else.  After all, it was just a dream...